Hippo Birdy To Me

Well, you can tell how much I enjoyed my birthday (10th May) by the amount of time it's taken me to recover enough to blog about it!

Last year I instituted the Three Day Birthday (partly because I wanted to open a present on the 9th). This year I went for broke and had a Four Day Birthday. I had most of my cards and presents on the 10th, as expected, but I also had some arrive on the 11th and 12th.

On the 13th, we had tickets to go to the theatre in Durham to see Tony Robinson's one-man show. I was really looking forward to this, although I hadn't been out of the house since October (in fact this was one of the reasons I was looking forward to it). All of the preparations went off without a hitch; taxi turned up on time, carer came in plenty of time to get me dressed, etc. The problem came when I hauled myself out of the door and into my wheelchair, where I promptly had a 15 minute panic attack. [Ed: In the rain.]

Still, once they loaded me onto the taxi, and I got there, I had a really good time. Tony Robinson performed both halves himself, with the aid of a screen behind him for showing photographs and bits of film. It was more or less about his life as an actor, but also explained his lifelong interest in championing the ordinary people in history.

The first part of the second half was a question and answer section, and included him getting some poor unsuspecting chap called Walker up on stage to act out the job his ancestors would have done. This originally involved stomping in a tub full of wool, fullers earth, and urine for many hours a day in order to felt the material. Aren't you grateful for washing machines and old pairs of jeans?

We also got a chance to speak to him at the end. There are benefits to being in a wheelchair, and queue-jumping is one of them :) I have to come in and out through the stage door in order for the taxi to pull up next to the building, so the Stage Manager always comes to find me at the end of the night to let us through the keycode doors. I used this information to persuade the lady who was looking after Tony and his book signees, to let me sneak in ahead of the next person in the queue. He was very sweet, and was delighted to hear that I remember seeing him in 1977 in Chichester Festival Theatre, playing a character called Everypeasant, who was not too dissimilar to Baldrick!

I did really well for presents this year, too. I got:

• 7 books, including "The Friday Night Knitting Club" and "The Knitting Answer Book".
• A gizmo for holding my book open while I'm reading it.
• A couple of bookmarks. (Are we sensing a theme here?)
• A very pretty silver necklace that I wore on my night out.
• A huge gingerbread-scented candle.
• Flowers
• Chocolate
• Belgian chocolate cakes.
• And three (count 'em: three) Pulp CDs from Richard because he is wonderful and knows how to read my Amazon wishlist; although he did wrap each CD in paper, then cling-film, then two together in paper then cling-film, then the three together in paper then cling-film, then a padded envelope, but he wouldn't be him if he wasn't daft...

Admittedly it's taken me two weeks to get over it, but it was all very enjoyable, and I think I'll have another one next year...

Tigger says, "It's my birthday soon. Don't forget it's my birthday soon. My Birthday. It's soon."

On The Up

I've had two pieces of good news since last I blogged. The first is that I have had two designs accepted by Knit Today. Yay! Go me! I'm just waiting for the editor to finalise my contract, and then I'll just be waiting for the yarn to turn up. No idea, yet, when they're going to be published, but watch this space.

The second piece of good news is related to that, in a way. The reason that it's taken so long for me to produce the item I'm working on at the moment for Simply Knitting is that I've felt like my O₂ levels have been off for several months, and that therefore I haven't been able to concentrate properly. I can't tell you how many times I've had to check and recheck the Hard Sums on the pattern, not to mention having to frog and reknit. I've also been unable to read anything with a narrative. Knitting magazines and books have been OK, because they are a collection of short pieces, but if you'd asked me to keep track of a story and its characters...

Richard and I tested the oxygen flow from my concentrating machine, following his initial suggestion that maybe I wasn't getting enough (mind you, that's been my problem for years...), and turned it up a notch. This helped a bit, but I still asked for a visit from one of the hospital's Respiratory Nurses. I was still expecting them to tell me that there was insufficient oxygen in my bloodstream, but I tested at 95%, which is pretty good for me.

We had a long chat about my fuzzy head (which is also part of the ME, of course) and my breathing difficulties, and eventually she suggested upping the dose of my fluid retention tablets, because extra fluid generally makes it harder for my lungs to expand, and big puffy legs don't help mobility, either.

"Um... I kind of stopped taking them."

She was baffled. "Why on earth would you do something like that!?"

If I'd been standing up, I would have shuffled my feet. "Well, I felt like they were irritating my kidneys. And they made me wee a lot."

"Yes, that's the point of them. If they're reducing the fluid, it has to go somewhere. Now, are you going to start taking them again?"

"...mm-hm..."

"And you won't stop taking them?"

"...noo..."

"And I'll phone you next week and see how you've improved."

"'nk oo."

She packed up her stuff and left, and I rooted about in the drawer to find my fluid retention tablets...

Well, suffice it to say that when she phoned the following Monday, I had read a novel-and-a-half and zoomed ahead on my knitting. So much for my self medication; I think I ought to leave it to the doctors in future!

(One of the novels was Ark Baby by Liz Jensen, which is incredibly funny and very cleverly written, all about the theory of evolution and the Missing Link. I recommend it unreservedly.)

So I'm now in the pleasant position of having work coming in and knowing that my brain is up to doing it. And I'm being much more diligent over my medication...

Tigger says, "Nurse? What nurse? Oh, you mean that nice lady that came to make a fuss of me?"

Ta-dah!

Well, the big news of the month is the launch of the Beamish Boy's official web design business. He's been designing websites for himself and other people as a hobby since he was about 15, and now he's doing it as a professional. He's working on a great retail site for me at the moment. If you would like to see his business website, you'll find it at http://www.catdogsinetheta.co.uk/. Feel free to tell your friends :)

The biggest trauma of the past couple of weeks has been taking Tigger to the V-E-T. He needed a little light pedicure as well as his booster shots. He took the needle in the neck like an absolute trouper, but he complained bitterly about the Vet touching his paws! He has a unique method of protest about car journeys, too. Rather than howling, weeing himself, or trying to get out of the box - which are the methods all my past cats have used - he sits in his box, quietly and regularly uttering a pitiful "mau" (to rhyme with "cow"); somewhat reminiscent of a metronome... if metronomes went "mau"...

Once he came home he behaved as any sensible cat would do, and lay about the place pretending to be at Death's door, while ignoring that heartless human who made him go through the ghastly process in the first place: me. Yes, folks, even though it was Richard who took him to the Vet, it was me he ignored for the next 24 hours...

Oh, and I've had a reply from Rowan, who say they don't have any vacancies for designers at the moment, but that they'll keep my details on file for when they do. In the mean time, I'm sending more submissions off to Vogue Knitting and the Interweave group.

Tigger says, "Vets? We don't need no steenkin' vets!"

This thing is bigger than both of us...

How did it get to be so long since my last entry? What with the Beamish Boy going off to see his mates from Uni, and my laptop dying, I was aware that it had been a while - but I really didn't think it had been 5 weeks.

I've been thinking a lot about the role of the designer in knitting patterns recently. There have been a couple of conversations on knitting lists which have sparked this off. In one, I was told that I wasn't a professional designer. After I had explained, very clearly and in words of one syllable, just why I am a professional designer, I came to understand that what she meant by 'professional' was "well known, and with books to your name." Well, I have to accept that I will never be the kind of designer who runs workshops at knitting shows - because I can't travel to them. But I have been thinking about a printed collection of patterns.

Back in the days when I wrote fiction and poetry, I knew exactly how to approach a publisher (synopsis, sample chapter, all double-spaced, and neatly printed on A4) - but I'm not altogether sure of the etiquette to be followed when submitting an idea for a knitting book. Obviously most of it will be the same - but instead of a sample chapter, do I send a sample hat? Anyway, it's something I'm looking into, and I will report back on my progress.

The next conversation was about knitting for designers. Broadly speaking, it seems that fashion designers are likely to provide a sketch of the finished item and expect knitters to work out the actual pattern and knit it up. (Just like the seamstresses at, for example, Chanel - did anyone else see that excellent series on BBC 4 which went behind the scenes at Chanel? It was quite fascinating, but I have to say that Karl Lagerfeld is really weird...)

This seems very unfair to me. I understand that the important part of being a designer is having the ideas in the first place, but surely the best ideas come from understanding the way items are created and put together in the actual materials you are going to use? I don't think it's right that someone who has done so much work on an item isn't given any credit. Similarly, I think it's disgraceful that individual designers and/or knitters are not credited in the individual patterns that yarn companies sell.

I can understand why designers, however good a knitter they may be, use other people to knit their designs up and it's something I may have to start considering for myself. You see, when you are a designer, everybody always asks you where you get your ideas from. Nobody ever asks you how many of the damn things attack you at once. I don't know what it's like for other designers but, as soon as I pick up my needles, my brain is off thinking up all kinds of other useful and inventive ways to use the yarns that are sitting around my room. Even if I were in the best of health, I would never be able to knit up all of my designs, so I'm starting to see an additional appeal in working with magazines like Vogue Knitting and Interweave Knits, where you supply the pattern and it is knitted up for you. I can't see how I will ever put all of my ideas into practice without farming them out to other knitters - especially if I am going to produce a collection in book form.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not giving up knitting altogether; I love knitting up my own designs. In fact, quite often, the designs evolve as I'm creating them. But I think that I have enough work with British knitting magazines and private commissions to keep my needles clicking for a good while yet. It's just that I know, if I want to see more than a quarter of my designs knitted up, that I have to admit that I need other people to help me do so.

Anyway, those are my thoughts at the moment. I haven't even got so far as considering how I will choose my knitters, or how much they will be paid. But you can be sure of one thing: they will be given credit for doing the work!

Tigger says, "You will still have time to cuddle me, Mum, won't you?"

It was a dark and stormy night...

Although, to be fair, night is always dark and it isn't especially stormy out there. We have, however, had blizzarding snow all day. Not much of it has actually settled, although the hill above the village is uniformly white. It is odd that it's the South and South East that seem to get all the snow these days, while we in the North get very little. It's a complete turn-around from when I was growing up in the South. Perhaps that's the key: snow avoids me. I ought to hire myself out to places which want to have little snow during the winter.

The first plus-size garment is now with the Editor of Simply Knitting, and she loves it. It took me almost a week to write up the pattern, because I hadn't realised quite how much Christmas had taken out of me. Mental activity is just as draining as physical, and I know this, but somehow it always manages to take me by surprise. That's one of the reasons it's been a while since I blogged; that, and the fact my faithful amanuensis has been on a pointless course [Ed: It's the Gateway to Work course the Job Centre sends you on after you've been signing on for about 6 months. It's a two-week break in job-hunting (during which you still have to fit in job-hunting) to tell you how to hunt for jobs. They tell you how to write a CV, analyse job adverts, and write formal letters - all of which I already know how to do; so it was a complete waste of time for me...]

I've finally had my designs returned from Vogue Knitting and Interweave Knits. Both were accompanied by letters which were full of praise for my work, and asking me to submit more designs, which is a step up from the very first letter I got from VK - "Thanks, but no thanks", in effect - so I'm not too disappointed. Back to the drawing board! [Ed: We have a drawing board?]

And finally, my thought for the day:

I've come to realize that the secret to a happy life is not looking like Barbie or Ken, and suffering through tofu and rice cakes to stay that way.

It's eating chocolate, staying fat, and explaining that you're really a perfect size - but you keep it covered with fat so it doesn't get scratched.

Tigger says, "Diets? We don't need no steenkin' diets!"

Déjà Tricoté

Sorry for the gap in postings. Christmas has rather caught up with me. (Thanks to everyone for your comments, which kept me amused - and a special hello to nimblynaff in South Africa!) On the odd occasion lately that I felt like dictating, Richard wasn't here to type. And every time he was available to type, my brain took on the consistency of damp cotton wool, without even the possibility of cress seeds growing in it to give it a bit of life and vigour. (Do kids still do that at school, grow cress seeds on damp cotton wool? I remember doing that quite vividly. And growing broad beans against the side of a jar. Mind you, I remember dissecting a rat and a bull's eye as well, so it shows you how long ago I went to school...)

Anyway, I had a bit of a disaster last week. At least, I said it was a disaster - Richard insisted that, as it was fixable, it was more of a hiccup. "A disaster," he said, "would be your yarn catching fire because you were knitting so fast." Phew, no chance of that, then.

It all happened because I thought that I could remember the pattern. I was supposed to do part of the row in garter stitch, and part of the row in a pattern stitch; it was roughly 80 sts in pattern and 60 sts in garter stitch, but in my cotton wool state this translated on my needles into 60 sts in pattern and 80 sts in garter stitch. And then, to compound the error, I increased one stitch on every row instead of on every other row.

I only noticed something was wrong when I came to cast off, held up the entire thing to look at it, and realised it was a shapeless mess. I nearly wept when I realised that it would all have to be unpicked.

Eight.

Bloody.

Inches.

I am not a one for making New Year's Resolutions, but I think my resolution for this year may be summed up thusly: Never Assume You Can Remember The Pattern, Even When You Have Written It Yourself...

(I did unpick it, and reknit it, and it worked fine the second time. Thank goodness knitting is forgiving!)

Tigger says, "Relax..."

Who Ya Gonna Call?

I've received an advance copy of the February issue of Simply Knitting (lovely stitch markers as the free gift!). I'm delighted to see how well my crocheted Stashbuster Serape has been staged and photographed. I was really in two minds, when I sent it off, about whether it should be shorter and wider. It looks most luxurious on the model, however, and I'm glad I left it as it was. It's designed as a project for which you choose your own yarns from stash (obviously). Just in case anyone wants to know what yarns I used for mine, here they are:

• Elle Monet (278 – Pisarro)
• Texere Recycled Yarn (discontinued)
• Red Heart Plush (9536 Lt Purple)
• Wendy Precious Moments (197) (discontinued)
• Rowan Calmer (484 Lucky)
• Debbie Bliss Cashmerino Aran (502 Pea Green)
• King Cole Merino Blend DK (69 Olive)
• Cygnet Wool-Rich 4-ply (0268 Olive)

I also supplied an alternative knitted pattern for this, which is something I'm considering doing in future in my more simply constructed items. If a garment is made out of basic shapes, then it should be just as easy to make those shapes by knitting or by crochet. Of course the crochet will take more yarn (about a third as much again seems to be the accepted wisdom), so the crochet versions will drape a little differently; but I like to give people the choice...

Still on the subject of using what you have, instead of buying new, I have to share with you a few lines from a book which my sister found for me on her bookshelves. It's from 1943, and is called New Life For Old Clothes by Gertrude Mason. I imagine it would have been a remarkably popular book during the War – with clothes and yarn both being rationed. This comes at the end of a description of how to create a bath robe from a bathing wrap and an out-of-date swimsuit:

Remove the skirt from the swim suit and cut the lower part of the sleeves from it. Cut the facings for the lapels from the body part of the suit, using the front of the pattern as a guide. The trunks should provide sufficient material for belt and pocket, and a small back collar if required.

I know that bathing costumes used to be more decorous, but it sounds like this one was positively Victorian :)

The other book she brought for me is rather battered. It has lost its cover and the first and last few pages, so I have no idea what it's called or when exactly it was published. Judging by the copious photographs, it looks as if it comes from the 50s. It also contains advice on unravelling sweaters to use the wool for something else. I particularly enjoyed the child's pixie hood, made from a cut-up felted sweater!

I used to love pixie hoods. I looked like a gnome in them, but I still loved them...

"You did want it unravelling, didn't you?"

Comfort and joy

First, a newsflash: Santa's toyshop has been shut down, following inspection by Elfin Safety. Boom boom! I thengyow....

I know it's a little late for this year, but may I pass on my top Christmas tip? Don't send cards. Not that I don't like getting cards - I do - but since I've been ill, it's been an even bigger problem to get them all written and distributed than it was when I was well. So, a few years back, I announced that I would no longer be sending them. Instead, I donate the amount I would have spent to the Salvation Army, and it pays for them to supply a hamper and some presents to a family who wouldn't otherwise get them. Plus, of course, it saves resources!

Anyway - Happy Christmas to all my readers, and I hope Santa brings you all the things you asked for. Personally, I know it's unlikely that I will get David Tennant, but a girl can dream...

Tigger says: 'Don't drink and drive, just drink and nap...'

Zap! Kaplow! Blammo!

Thanks to everyone who left a comment last time. Getting comments is a bit like getting applause when you're on stage - it reassures you that there really are people out there, and you're not just whistling in the dark. (Good to see another Floyd fan, Steelbreeze!)

I want to give a little plug to a new craft zine, Proud to be Crafty. It's edited and produced by Alexandra Byrne, who blogs as LittleLixie. The current edition is the second; the first was limited to 50 copies and sold out in gratifyingly quick time. The new issue costs £1.50 and is available at http://www.proudtobecrafty.blogspot.com/.

It is an endearing mixture of fun and interesting articles, including a fascinating piece on the online publishing service lulu.com. It also comes with an attractive length of Taos yarn to play with :)

I'm considering working with Richard to produce some video podcasts for the Knitting & Crochet Guild, as I can't go out to groups to run workshops and pass on my hints, tips, and expertise. Would anyone like to suggest a topic or area of knitting or crochet that particularly needs to be covered? Obviously I want to do topics that people are going to find useful, as well as entertaining, so I don't want to go off into areas in which nobody is interested.

I had hoped that I would get a bit of peace and quiet to concentrate on my knitting from last Friday onwards. Friday was the launch date for the new Nintendo games console, the Wii, and Richard has been telling me far more than I ever really needed - or wanted - to know about the damn thing for months. He'd preordered one at a shop in Durham, so he was able to go down there at 11:30pm on Thursday for their midnight launch. Of course, once he brought it back, he had to set it up to make sure it was working.

I think he got to sleep at about 4 o'clock...

Now, to be fair, I must admit that it is jolly good fun, although rather strenuous for those of us with puny muscles because its big selling point is its motion sensitive controller, which allows you to swing it to hit the tennis ball, roll the bowling ball, and box your virtual opponent. The one thing it can't do, however, is make Richard shut up about it. Instead of telling me how amazing it was going to be, he's now telling me how amazing it is.

Still, it could be worse, he could have painted his bedroom black and been listening to death metal...

Tigger says, "Nobody ever asks me if I want to play on the Wii..."

Happy Second Blogiversary!

Yes, gentle reader, it is two years to the day since the Doodles blog burst on to the stage. Well, it was more a tiptoe on in the back row of the chorus, but you know what I mean.

I missed last year's Blogiversary, because I was convinced, at the back of my mind, that I had started it quite a way into 2005 and by the time I realised, I'd already missed it...

So, you have my permission to eat twice as much cake, get twice as drunk, and sleep with twice as many ugly people as you would normally do when celebrating. Balloons, streamers, party hats, jelly and ice cream, pass the parcel, and being sick into your goody bag are all recommended.

I know that I have readers all over the place. I think it would make a great celebration if every reader (yes, this means you) left a comment, no matter how small. I'd love to hear from you all!

Tigger says, "Ooh! Did someone mention cake?"